I haven't been sleeping well. Its a shame really. I quit my job and I'm single so my sole purpose is school and yet I can't seem to manage to get a decent nights sleep so that I can function well at school. I awake almost every night in sweat and tears due to my newest horrific nightmare. I wrote this tonight:
'I woke up to whispering surrounding my bed,
drowsy enough that I can't distinguish what is real and what is in my head.
My nightmare has followed me to wakefulness,
only God can deter myself from causing more mess.
Bless me Giver of Life with knowledge and power,
else strike me down before the world I devour.'
I don't know why it came to me, or what exactly it means but the words hit me very profoundly so I wrote them down. These night terrors are plaguing me. Once when I was little I had a recurring nightmare. Even now I get it once in a while and even though I KNOW the answer and I KNOW what will happen, some part of me is still scared of my childhood dream. Its hard for me to admit that I don't have all the answers. I like being right... its a nice feeling. Maybe this is an omen. These dreams are telling me something. Maybe once I either figure it out or whatever its foretelling comes to pass then I can sleep once more. Maybe not, only time can tell.
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