I don't know what happened or why I feel the driving urge to do things differently lately but I have. I decided today that a blog would be a good way to release what is on my mind and for those brave enough to read this then go for it. I titled this 'Written Insanity' because all the thoughts that are jumbled around in my head may come spewing out and make little to no sense, so *fair warning*.
Lately I have been really disconnected with most of the people in my life being that I was so focused on a select few and I really regret that and have been trying to get out more recently. I love my friends and want to spend time with them. I really wish all my friends could see how much of an effort I'm making. I turned 20 a few weeks ago and quit my job about the same time. Just before that I experienced a very painful parting of ways with the guy I was dating and while we remain friends, my heart still aches because of that loss. Love sucks. Really, truly... it just sucks. Yet I am infatuated with it. I want to be loved and I want to love others. I like the feeling of intimacy and knowing that someone cares about me. I love my friends but I want to experience a true love at some point. I hope I know when I find it for real because every time I think I'm close something proves me wrong, usually the guy himself. Sigh.
Upcoming tomorrow:
*School filled with my first 'Test' where it is a simulation of the test I have to complete for state certification.
*Interview for a nanny position (the youngest son is hard of hearing and requires sign. exciting!)
*Hang with Dillon and Brady?
Busy day tomorrow, must sleep. Will update what is happening as I know. G'night.
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