Ok, so I know that this is nothing new considering I only get on here to rant but still! I am in such a bad mood today. My computers battery is shot and has been for months. When we first got the computer my one requirement was a good battery life, which I didn't get. So now I can't have my computer unplugged for ten minutes without it dying, but of course the warranty is up. Also, its my fault. It doesn't matter that the paperwork was under my dads name and therefore Best Buy wouldn't do anything about it. It doesn't matter that I didn't want this damn computer to begin with. It doesn't matter that I tried to work it out with them, or that my dad promised to fix it, or that I was told it expires 6/20/2011 and really it was 5/20/2011. Its my fault because we couldn't get it fixed because I "procrastinated too long, like always and per your usual never listen to me [dad]". Why is it that I'm always seen as worthless? No matter what I do he always finds some way to bitch me out.
First it was me getting a job, so I found one. Then I worked too much and never spent time with the family, so I scaled back my hours. Then it was "why don't you have any money?", so I got a good paying job. Which started the "your never home" crap as well as the "your school is suffering" in addition to the "we just want you to be doing something you love". So finally I quit that job. Which leads to "you are lazy and don't contribute to the household" and "now that you aren't working you should add extra hours at school, it would help you apply yourself" So I added an extra day at school to get them off my back as well as have an addition 10 hours I could spend out of the house. I have also started doing extra things around the house. My room is always clean, I do the dishes daily, I clean 1/3 bathrooms in the house weekly,I take out the garbage when its full (or else I ask Josh to do it) and the recycling when it has more than a few things in the pile, I help with dinner and laundry and driving, not to mention I sporadically clean my sisters bathroom and will vacuum and dust when I see it needing to be done, plus I keep contact with my dads family so they sit there and annoy me rather than annoy my family. I go to the family events because then the extended family doesn't call my parents up and bother them, thus putting them into a bad mood that will affect me and bug. I am a good daughter. I do what I am asked when I am asked just because I have been beaten and I hate being yelled at, yet I am still always in trouble for something. I sometimes wish Bug got into trouble too, but its not fair for her to have to deal with this shit, plus I don't think she could handle it.
Someone help me deal with this. Please. I just can't stand it. That is without going into school, or my dating life, or my utter contempt for wanting to even go on any more. I am so close to just being done with anything and everything. I can't take it! and the next person to ask me "How soon are you done with school?" is getting punched, even if it is Grandma. Just so you all know I DON'T KNOW! happy? Im not going anywhere in school or in life. I am stuck in freaking stalemate and I hate it. I can't move forward or progress. I'm stuck in hell. Did I die and no one bothered informing me? Am I literally in hell and just have yet to be informed that this is in fact pergatory? Oh and if this is hell what did I do to deserve this?
